My name is Lora.
"I'm not a born actress, as such, I care about expressing feelings." -Audrey Hepburn
Many times I care too much about feelings and feelings make up my whole world for me. It makes me wonder whether the world I'm living in is the real one. Cause I feel surreal in my own delusion more than anywhere else.
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"No one has the right to tell you who you are and control your life, cause its yours. Your life is meant to be lived by no one else but yourself. We sometimes let people get the best of us, destroy us and change our opinions on what we believe is true. Only you know what’s right for yourself, you have the power, you make the choices and you learn. Each experience we go through in life is a lesson to be learned. We all make mistakes, why is that so hard for some to understand? No one should be judged by the mistakes they have made. Its past news. Everything happens for a reason, and without the hard times, how would we ever realize our true strength? It’s only through a time of suffering when we realize how strong we truly are inside, when we realize how much we can actually put up with and deal with before we eventually break."
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(via ireadintothings)
Fri, December 30th 2011
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Fri, December 30th 2011
Note #82.
Dearest one,
It may seem simple to say how I feel. It may seem simple to just say that I love you. But it is not as simple as that.
Every time I see you two things happen. I want to hold you close in my embrace and whisper softly how I adore you. Gently coupling your face in my hands, and passionately kissing you.
Then I realize this will not happen, and I feel sorrow overwhelm my broken heart. And I can do nothing but cry my eyes red.
I will always love you. Even when you don’t love me.
Sun, September 11th 2011
Note #81.
“It’s my fault for lying. I’m sorry for not being honest right from the start. Although it is going to be hard on us. I never regret. It may seems that my love for you cannot be compared to what you has for me, but I’m trying my best. I can’t give you promises. But I promise you that I’ll try. I may not have all the time in the world for you, but I’ll devote my spare time to you- through texts, calls or even dates. You may have a complicated past, but it doesn’t matter to me. I hope things can be simple now. I know you are going through a lot during this period of time. I will be your listening ear if you want. I want to be someone whom you can share everything with. I hope I can help you in one way or another. Even if I can’t, I’ll be there for you mentally. Like what you said, nobody knows what lies ahead and I will not think about it. I love you. “
The very exact words you said to me a year back. And I feel like a total idiot right now, still trying to sieve out some sort of hope from this string of words that you said a year ago.
Why is it that I can’t feel you anywhere near when you promised that you will be there for me, even mentally?
I miss you fucking badly. Fucking fucking badly. But Idk how to reply your mail. What can I say? I love you? I think I’ve said that so much to the point where it has no impact on you anymore. If you ask what’s my birthday wish, I will tell you, it’s you. I just want you back all over again.
Truth is you don’t care what I want. Then why bother if I am fine? Why did you make my life so miserable? Why you? Why?
Tue, August 2nd 2011
